Is Your Constant Tension a Result of Trauma?

　This article—written by a licensed psychologist under medical supervision—summarizes the relationship between the tension (over-arousal) that troubles many people and trauma, which is often a contributing cause. Please have a look.

<Created: 2025.9.26 / Last Updated: 2025.9.26>

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		Author of this article Ichitaro Miki (Miki Ichitaro), Licensed Psychologist (Japan) Graduated from Osaka University; completed a master’s program at Osaka University Graduate School Over 20 years of clinical experience. Specializes in trauma and attachment disorders that underlie various difficulties and a sense of “not fitting.” Author of several books—including Developmental Trauma: The Real Cause of “Life Feeling Hard” (total sales ~40,000 copies)—and featured on TV programs; provided production support/supervision for dramas; contributed to web media and magazines, among others. Click here for full profile

Author of this article

Ichitaro Miki (Miki Ichitaro), Licensed Psychologist (Japan)

Graduated from Osaka University; completed a master’s program at Osaka University Graduate School

Over 20 years of clinical experience. Specializes in trauma and attachment disorders that underlie various difficulties and a sense of “not fitting.” Author of several books—including *Developmental Trauma: The Real Cause of “Life Feeling Hard”* (total sales ~40,000 copies)—and featured on TV programs; provided production support/supervision for dramas; contributed to web media and magazines, among others.

Click here for full profile

		Medical supervisor of this article Yoshio Iijima, M.D. (Psychosomatic Medicine, etc.) In addition to psychosomatic medicine, also a clinical psychologist, Kampo physician, and general practitioner, with extensive expertise across fields. Specializes particularly in medically unexplained symptoms and treatment of autonomic dysregulation. Click here for full profile

Medical supervisor of this article

Yoshio Iijima, M.D. (Psychosomatic Medicine, etc.)

In addition to psychosomatic medicine, also a clinical psychologist, Kampo physician, and general practitioner, with extensive expertise across fields. Specializes particularly in medically unexplained symptoms and treatment of autonomic dysregulation. Click here for full profile

<Editorial policy>

• A licensed psychologist writes, explains, and highlights key points based on years of clinical experience and clients’ accounts, especially from the perspectives of attachment and trauma work.

• We consult specialized books and objective data to the best of our ability.

• We strive to update the content with the latest insights whenever possible.

• This article has been translated from the original Japanese using AI. Therefore, it may contain unnatural translations, particularly for specialized terms.

• Introduction

• What is “tension”?

• Why don’t relaxation and similar methods remove “tension”?

• Over-arousal caused by an internalized “threat (trauma)”

• A characteristic symptom of early trauma: “fear of abandonment”

• When “tension” is so high that the person often doesn’t notice it

• How trauma disrupts the ability to regulate “tension”
• Re-defining “tension”: when you can’t be yourself

• Check if you’re over-aroused

• How to relieve “tension”: removing trauma

　Related articles

　▶ “What Are Trauma (Developmental Trauma), PTSD, and Complex PTSD? Causes and Symptoms”

　▶ “Is Trauma the Hidden Cause of Your Relationship Problems?”

　▶ “When Work Doesn’t Go Well: The Hidden Impact of Trauma”

　▶ “PTSD, Trauma, Stress, and Mental Care During Disasters (Earthquakes, Typhoons, Accidents, etc.)”

Expert (Licensed Psychologist) Commentary

　Excessive, hard-to-shake “tension” is called over-arousal. In fact, this is not merely a matter of personality or constitution; it can stem from trauma and attachment difficulties. Over-arousal is one of the most common symptoms caused by trauma. For that reason, relaxation techniques and self-help alone often don’t lead to improvement.
　If you struggle with being “too tense,” it’s important to consider the possible influence of trauma.

Introduction

　Among the concerns many of us feel, “tension” ranks high. While everyone feels tense at times, it becomes a problem when you get tense in situations where tension shouldn’t arise. You may make mistakes on important tasks or be unable to communicate what you want to say.

　You might underperform despite your true capabilities, appear awkward or fidgety and be misunderstood by others, and end up feeling discouraged.

　“I get nervous so easily.”
　“I can never fully relax.”
　“Being with people just isn’t fun.”

　Perhaps you’ve tried massages, meditation if you’re into psychology, or self-improvement programs. These may help a little, but the tension never seems to go away at its roots. Sound familiar?

　The cause of the “tension” you feel may, in fact, be trauma. Trauma can sound like something unusual, but in reality many people are affected—so much so that it’s almost fair to say no one is entirely free from it.　

　In this article, we summarize “tension” (over-arousal) that is triggered by trauma.

What is “tension”?

　Physiologically, when we face stress, hormones such as cortisol, adrenaline, and noradrenaline are released via the autonomic nervous system through the hypothalamus, activating the sympathetic nervous system to prepare for threat. The liver increases glucose production; heart rate rises to convert it into energy. Increased blood flow tightens muscles and can cause trembling. To offset the rise in body temperature, you may also sweat more.

　These hormones also affect the brain—structures such as the hippocampus are stimulated and past anxious memories can resurface.

　
　In this sense, “tension” isn’t inherently bad; it’s necessary to help us overcome danger—like revving a car’s engine or running a computer at full capacity when needed.

　The problem, however, is when we feel tense even in situations that are not actually threatening.

Why don’t relaxation and similar methods remove “tension”?

　There are many methods—and books—on how to ease “tension.” While not entirely ineffective, in many cases they remain symptomatic treatments.

　Why is that?

　Because in the worlds of self-help and relaxation, “tension” is often treated merely as a “mindset issue” or as “temporary stress/autonomic imbalance.”

　If “tension” were just a matter of mindset, temporary stress, or an autonomic issue, it could be resolved relatively easily. But those are not the only causes. Such approaches may address current problems, yet they often fail to reach the cumulative effects of the past.

　This is where the impact of “trauma” deserves attention.

Over-arousal caused by an internalized “threat (trauma)”

　Put simply, trauma refers to a “stress disorder.” Typically, excessive or chronic stress disrupts mind–body balance and leads to dysregulation. In other words, one’s internal state is no longer baseline—it’s as if under constant threat.

　Through what’s called “flashbacks,” similar situations can unconsciously trigger anxiety and fear, prompting avoidance behaviors without realizing it. For the person, it’s as if time has stopped at a period of constant danger. Even without strong flashbacks, the body may stay on alert, continually preparing for threat.

　This state is called “over-arousal.”　

　Because dysregulation spans the stress-response systems (immune, endocrine, autonomic), the self, and our social relationships, simple relaxation rarely lowers tension sufficiently. Many people find that even diligent tension-reduction efforts don’t fundamentally help—that’s why.

A characteristic symptom of early trauma: “fear of abandonment”

　Another factor that heightens “tension” is the “fear of being abandoned,” a characteristic symptom stemming from trauma experienced in early childhood.

　Early trauma can arise from everyday stresses once thought trivial. We know parental arguments, verbal/physical aggression can be traumatic, and abrupt environmental changes such as moving may also contribute. Trauma can also arise from “relational stress”: for example, with unstable or over-involved parents.

　Trauma isn’t limited to violent abuse or neglect. Even if something doesn’t meet objective thresholds for abuse, it can occur when the relationship itself “doesn’t mesh” (= relational stress)—for instance, Cassandra syndrome.

　You may even see parents using harsh language with children in public—there may be abusive relational patterns underneath. Even with polite words, if the underlying “relationship” is chronically stressful, it can amount to something akin to abuse. We refer to this as “relational stress.”

　For dependent children, being abandoned by caregivers can mean death. Thus, childhood trauma often leaves a strong, persistent “fear of abandonment.”

　That fear can persist into adulthood, leading one to constantly wonder in relationships, “Will I be abandoned?”—which imposes “tension” even at a conscious level.
　When the people-pleasing goes too far, it becomes “over-adaptation.” Put simply, this means “always over-accommodating others until you’re exhausted.”

　
　Our “tension” is not only about real-time stress or thinking patterns; it is also driven by “trauma” and the “fear of abandonment.”

　If a fire represents “trauma” and “fear of abandonment,” then “tension” is the smoke. Unless you put out the fire, it’s hard to stop the smoke from rising again and again.

When “tension” is so high that the person often doesn’t notice it

　It’s one thing when you clearly feel “tense” and know it’s a problem. But if you’ve lived in a high-tension state since childhood, it can feel normal, and you may not notice it. Sensations are relative; without contrast, they’re hard to detect.

On closer reflection, you may realize that:

　• You don’t really know what “being natural” feels like.
　• You can’t manage to relax well.
　• Being with people isn’t enjoyable.

These may be your everyday feelings.

　Even if you got by when younger, energy wanes and longer-term effects of trauma emerge; living in constant “tension” becomes unsustainable. As functioning suffers, you feel increasingly compelled to reduce it.

How trauma disrupts the ability to regulate “tension”

　In rat studies, animals exposed to severe stress continue to show strong stress responses even after the stressor is removed. It appears the sensors that regulate “tension” become dysregulated, making it hard to match one’s state to the environment.

　Interpersonally, we’re expected to attune to others’ level of arousal. People with over-arousal might respond at a 6–7 out of 10 even when the other person is only at a 2; conversely, when others are at an 8–9, their own brain tires quickly, they can’t keep up, and the “tension string” snaps—arousal suddenly drops. Many people have experienced something similar at lively gatherings: the room is buzzing, but you feel oddly detached.

　In such a state, it’s hard to keep pace with others, and you may end up feeling “It’s not fun to be with people.”

　Because the regulation of “tension” (arousal) happens largely outside conscious control, trying to hype yourself up or relax by willpower alone is difficult. Efforts to consciously control tension can be overwhelmed by the autonomic nervous system—and feel even more discouraging.

　The brain is already on alert for trauma that’s “re-enacting” danger, while the “fear of abandonment” adds yet more load. No matter how hard you try at a cognitive level to manage tension, it’s often not enough.

　
　It’s like a computer whose operating system is already working hard to process background tasks; then you launch a heavy application on top of that. The CPU maxes out and eventually the computer freezes.

Re-defining “tension”: when you can’t be yourself

　Put simply, “over-arousal” means being so tense—out of proportion to the situation—that you can’t be yourself.

　In other words, trauma monopolizes your mind and body with responses to past events, while fear of abandonment forces excessive vigilance toward others. 　

　You’re there, but you’re not yourself—yet you still have to do the task at hand and handle interactions. That’s unrealistic. Mistakes happen, responses falter, and you end up blaming yourself.

　We intuitively sense when we’re becoming “not ourselves,” and we want to get out of that state.

Check if you’re over-aroused

A checklist for determining whether your tension reflects trauma-related over-arousal

　Use the list below to see how many items apply to you.

　□ I fuss over others a lot.
　□ I get extremely drained at parties or other gatherings.
　□ Presentations or speaking in public make me very nervous.
　□ In conversations, I sometimes don’t know what to say.
　□ I worry about what others think of me.

　□ I don’t really know what “being natural” feels like.
　□ I can’t relax well.
　□ After getting home from social events, I can feel emotionally amped up.
　□ I tend to tense up during sports, etc.
　□ My eyes, shoulders, etc., often feel stiff.

　□ I sometimes get headaches from tension.
　□ People tell me my facial expression is stiff.
　□ My body feels stiff.
　□ As a child, I witnessed my parents arguing.
　□ As a child, I witnessed or heard my parents’ verbal or physical aggression.

　□ I was verbally or physically abused by a parent.
　□ I moved house around age 3–4.
　□ My parents often imposed their ways of doing/thinking on me.
　□ My childhood memories are faint; I don’t remember much.
　□ I sometimes become overly deferential to authority figures.